You know you are owned by a dog when...
You have a mental list of people you would like to spay or neuter.
- Running out of paper towels is a household crisis.
- You stick fake reindeer antlers on the dog and photograph him for your Christmas Cards.
- Not only do family and friends think you go overboard with doggie holiday decorations, they have never seen the holy family depicted by dogs.
- Your checks show a dog.
- You pray they will someday manufacture Teflon furniture.
- You absentmindedly pat people on the head or scratch them behind their ears.
- You not only allow dogs on the couch, guests have to sit on the floor because the dog has "territorial issues."
- You and your vet are on a first name basis.
- You tell your children to "heel!" in a grocery store.
- You know all the characteristics of a good "stool".